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Four people can be arguing about a deadline and be having four different fights.
That's why the same disagreement keeps coming back three weeks after you thought you resolved it. You solved the argument that was on the table. You never touched the one underneath it.
Almost every workplace conflict comes from one of four places: the work itself, how decisions get made, the state of the relationship, or a clash over what is right. Each one needs a different fix. Apply the wrong one and the conflict goes quiet for a while, then returns wearing a different outfit.
"The best part is the diagnostic framework that breaks every fight down into four root causes. It made me realize we're usually just bickering over surface level drama while totally missing the real issue."
Marcus Steele, review from Amazon
This book teaches you to work out which fight you are actually in, and then how to have the conversation.
Not scripts. No "I feel" statements. The mechanics: how to prepare in ten minutes, how to open without triggering a defense, what to say when someone gets defensive or counter-accuses or agrees and then changes nothing, and how to close with a commitment specific enough that you will know in two weeks whether it held.
"I appreciated the step-by-step approach to handling conflict, giving feedback, and keeping conversations productive. There were several ideas I can actually use with my team."
KT, verified purchase, review from Amazon
It also answers the question most conflict advice skips.
Sometimes a better conversation is not the answer. Sometimes a direct one-on-one with the person who controls your review will leave you worse off than saying nothing. Knowing which situation you are in is the whole game, and it's the part I spent sixteen years watching people get wrong from the other side of the desk.
What you will learn
The four root causes and how to identify yours in about two minutes
How to prepare for a hard conversation in ten minutes
What to say when it goes sideways in the middle
How to close so the agreement actually holds
How to tell a difficult colleague from an unsafe one
What to document, how to write it so it holds up, and what to ask HR before you leave the room
"Some of the techniques made a lot of sense and are things I can see myself using. Others felt a little too structured for the situations I've experienced. Overall, I found value in it, even if not every strategy was the right fit for me."
CJ White, review from Amazon
Written for managers, team leads, HR partners, and anyone who has a coworker they have been avoiding.
You can find this book on Amazon. The tools that come with it, you can't.
What's included
Conflict Resolution at Work · the complete book, EPUB and PDF
The Conflict Map · the four-cause diagnostic as a one-page reference
The 10-Minute Conversation Prep Worksheet · fillable. Purpose, facts, opening lines, how you will close.
The Escalation Decision Guide · handle it, get support, or report it, and how to tell which
The Behavior Pattern Log · a spreadsheet that tracks repeated behavior and calculates the pattern for you
Read This First · which document to open, and when